Generation X Today – From the mind of Mackeltoes…
Today’s blog post is by a guest blogger who has chosen to go by the pen name of Mackeltoes.
Pressure to Live Your Best Life
The advent of social networks like Facebook and Instagram show us what the “perfect” life should look like. The glossy, image-filled web pages give us a filtered view of the good parts of everyone else’s lives. They provide an unrelenting and unrealistic stream of what our bodies, careers, free time and aspirations should look like. Real or not, if one feels as if their life doesn’t measure up by comparison they may find themselves in quite a rut. While we do remember (sometimes fondly) life without the internet, Generation X today are not exempt.
Achieving goals drives success and feelings of enjoyment of life. But what happens when you don’t feel the pleasure? For some people the pressure to do their best translates into a personality trait known as Perfectionism. Although this sounds like a good trait to have, perfectionism is when our attempts to live our best life becomes unhealthy.
We all aim to enjoy our lives and be as successful as we can at home, at work, and at leisure. Each of us measures our success against various personal gauges. Perhaps how healthy we feel, how we feel others perceive us, how much time we spend with our families, our waistline, or how much we earn. Because we’re all different each of us places different weights on each of our personal gauges. We try and balance our daily lives and (for the most-part) our interactions with others so that everybody including ourselves is adding to their gauges positively. The desire to perfect this balancing act is one of our main unconscious drivers and we all feel it tugging at us constantly.
On the Rise
Recent research shows that perfectionism is on the rise, particularly socially-prescribed perfectionism. It causes people to place higher demands on themselves and others. Repeatedly placing lofty goals on oneself can result in enormous mental and physical stress and is linked to an increase in mental health disorders. Among them are eating disorders, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, depression and suicide. Physical conditions associated with stress such as cardiovascular disease can all be imminent.
Perfectionism is difficult to identify – especially for the perfectionist – as any admission of unhealthiness is a failure. However there is one way to tell. A person displaying a healthy hard-working attitude will appreciate any success and will adapt to what qualifies as a success as existing goals fail to be reached. They are able to balance effort with benefit. Conversely, a perfectionist takes much less pleasure from success. The best feeling a perfect result can render is that expectations were met though it usually comes with an increased sense of pressure to achieve at the same level or better on the next task. Under this mental regime a perfectionist will perceive a lower level of successes and higher level of failures, becoming increasingly disengaged with what they are trying to achieve. This manifests as being less conscientious, less diligent, less productive, increasingly neurotic and more likely to experience burnout.
We all Love our Facebook but…
Like all personality traits, studies have shown that there is some genetic influence. The studies also show that our environment has more influence. It can determine whether perfectionism emerges and can push us towards expressing one type of perfectionism over another. These days environment takes on a new definition to include the internet.
In modern society and against the backdrop of social media’s air-brushed ideals, even at what is considered middle age we face more competition for good schools and colleges for ourselves or our children. But the media is not completely to blame. New employees are dropped into workplaces which are squeezed for resources to maximize profits and are expected to perform or lose their hard-won job. The economic climate changes with the seasons. Government has become a three-ring circus spending more time on political battles than doing any kind of actual governing. The unprecedented pressure to reach unattainable targets and has created a hidden epidemic of perfectionism with alarming implications for mental health.
No Real Upside
Are there any benefits to perfectionism? Unfortunately not. Diligence, conscientiousness and hard work are commonly misunderstood as positive attributes of perfectionism, but they are attributes in their own right.
While it is true that perfectionists tend to achieve well academically or in their career it is not because of their perfectionism. It is because they also have many other positive attributes which lead them to success. To be elite you need to be hitting higher standards than your peers. However even amongst elite athletes perfectionism boosts performance in the short term and undermines in the longer run. There is always a cost to the perfectionism which drives them to such high standards. It could be an utter dedication of time or mental and physical resources and as the stakes get higher, the chance of failure is higher and it becomes more likely that the perfectionism will spiral out of control into a mental disorder.
I think I’m a perfectionist! What can I do?
- 1. Acknowledge the trait The first step and the hardest for a perfectionist to do is to recognize the trait in themselves. Many studies measure it using the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale – 45 statements that you must score your agreement with on a scale of 1 to 7. Identifying with these statements means that you most likely have perfectionist tendencies.
- 2. Narrow it down The Scale also distinguishes between the different kinds of perfectionism which help to focus where any mental readjustments might need to be made.
- 3. Self-help Depending on the extent of the problem, some people find self-help books are enough.
- 4. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Others may need professional help to de-stress their view of what it means to be successful – Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (or CBT) is a wide-ranging set of tools to help identify damaging behavior and enable them to break out of it.
- 5. Take a Time Out Take a break from all social networking sites. Yes for more than an hour or even a day. Try for a week. Everyone will still be there when you get back. Read an actual book. Practice the Danish art of Hygge. Go outside into the real world. Visit a friend. Take a walk or go to a movie.
*If you or anyone you know might be feeling debilitating effects of perfectionism, reach out to a professional in your local area.
