No rush to the finish line
I played with Barbie Dolls until I was 12 years old. Yep, I said that. I didn’t get my period until I was 16. While there were guys I liked here and there, I had no real interest in an actual relationship. There was a moment in my late 20’s when I thought I wanted to settle down but it was fleeting and then I was back to dating jerks. Generation X d-bags who guaranteed I would not be in any kind of serious relationship.
I moved from my home town to Los Angeles in part because all of the friends I grew up with were getting married, having kids and buying houses. Though I loved them, I wanted no part of that life. Instead I opted for Halloween costume parties for adults, club nights and concerts. My days were spent without responsibility in the Southern California sun and my nights were spent on the Hollywood Sunset Strip. Needless to say, I was in no hurry to grow up.
Was it a Peter Pan complex or was I on to something? These days it is a fact that those currently in their 50s or 60s will likely live into their 90s. Generation X could live even longer. It is also a fact that, if we take care of ourselves, most of those years will be spent in good health and mental capacity. If ever there was a time to slow the race to the finish line, it’s now.
Baby Boomers
I remember my father’s 40th birthday. His co-workers threw him an “over-the-hill” party complete with black balloons, a funeral wreath and vases of white Carnation flowers that had been spray painted black. It was a funny joke but he wasn’t laughing. In his mind he was officially old. He referred to everyone under 35 as “this kid at the office…” (To be fair I catch myself doing that one now.) He was a married man with three kids, a house mortgage, two cars and demanding career to pay for it all. He believed that his life was half over and that the best years were behind him.
I think my father was genuinely surprised to find that when he retired at age 65 he didn’t immediately die. In fact, he still hasn’t died and he has had to find ways to fill his days. Hobbies helped but apparently were not enough. At one point he became president of a Harley Davidson club where he quadrupled active membership and led actual rides and events. He also became a mentor to some younger, small business owners.
Turns out what he experienced is pretty common with Boomers now. While some are choosing not to retire, others are “un-retiring”, starting “encore careers” or new businesses of their own. Some of their younger counterparts are not onboard with this, complaining that means less jobs or control for them, I say more power to ‘em. The world can learn from their many years of experience. Not to mention one day we will be in their shoes.
Generation X
The generation that believed it would never grow up. I wasn’t alone in my quest to find Never Never land. All-night raves, binge-drinking, anti-establishment rhetoric and no thought given to our futures? Sure! Let’s dance right through our 30s. Let the Boomers run the show, we’re busy skateboarding and playing video games. Can you blame anyone for wanting to overlook us now? Ah but that’s a post for another day…
Here we are in our 40s and 50s but we are not our parent’s 40s and 50s. We are not over-the-hill in the slightest. Thanks to taking better care of ourselves, we don’t even look all that much older. Certainly not “old-old”. We can still get away with many of the things we did in our 20s and 30s. Some of us are only just finding our “adult selves” and building the kind of life we didn’t want until now. Some of us, empty-nesters and ex-driven-career-types are ready to leave the adult life behind to explore all of the things we may have missed. Do we really want to start winding down by our 50s when we could end up with another 50+ years of life? Nope, no hurry here.
What doctors are saying
Doctors are emphasizing exercise as the number one factor in remaining young. In fact, studies show a good exercise regimen and better eating habits can keep us youthful throughout our 80s and significantly reduce risk of dementia. Not smoking is also at the top of the list for living longer and looking younger. Having a sense of purpose and avoiding stress were also listed as ways to reach your 100th birthday. We may still need Loreal (don’t grow old gracefully, fight it every step of the way) and a decent moisturizer but we seem younger to others and certainly feel younger than previous generations did at our age. I guess you could say that the 40s really are the new 30s…and doctors would agree.
The ad industry is already onboard
Today’s 60 year old is not necessarily downsizing. They don’t see themselves as old and they won’t buy products marketed to seniors. Advertising agencies have already embraced the idea of a new market group which they have dubbed “Young-old.” They’re saving commercials for Depends undergarments and assisted living homes for the truly frail who make up the “Old-old” group. As advertising always seems to be a bit ahead of the curve, it should only be a matter of time before the rest of society adopts this view of the cycle of life. This should come as good news for my friends out there who have been taking it hard lately when each of their birthdays rolls around.
The Midlife Makeover
So what do we – and by “we” I mean Generation X – do with all of this extra time? I see the answer on Facebook all the time. Despite its losing popularity, many Generation Xers are still fairly active on Facebook. Over the past decade or so, my own newsfeed has served as an interesting sort of social experiment. I call my findings the Midlife Makeover.
Some of the forty-somethings in my newsfeed did things the traditional way. They got married right out of college (or in their early 20s). They had kids, bought houses and settled down… just like my parents did. Now their kids are grown and going off to college themselves. Unlike my parent’s generation, these 40-somethings don’t think they are old. They certainly don’t look old. Now they are free to attend the concerts that they missed out on while home with children. No longer in need of babysitters, they can travel the world, run marathons, do Tough Mudders, found charity organizations, pretty much anything they want. It’s a new beginning for them and they are using it to do whatever they didn’t do last time around.
Some of us chose a more non-traditional path. No marriage and kids for us. We chose freedom, travel, parties, dancing, or whatever else felt like fun. 20+ years later most of us are ready to do something different. Now we are the ones getting married. Some of us so-called late bloomers chose to start families. It’s actually much more common these days to see 40-something mothers and fathers dropping their children off at Kindergarten. Why not? By the time these kids are grown, their parents will only be in their 60’s. That’s still quite young by today’s standards.
Those who chose never to have kids might become job-changers. I for one completely switched careers. At 35 I went back to college for another degree. I would highly recommend that to anyone – at any age – considering a change.
Still, others in what I like to call my “Facebook wall focus group” initially elected to focus on a strict career path. Driven and full of direction in the 90s, some are finding that their priorities have changed. In fact, for the first time, some of them find themselves directionless. They are spending their 40’s searching for the next path just the same as anyone else. Contrary to the belief that this is a bad thing, these can make for some pretty interesting people. I am looking forward to seeing what my newsfeed reveals as we all reach the next decade of our lives.
A Cat Has 9 Lives…
As for me, I feel like I have lived many lives. Upon graduating from university, I promptly got a job in a bar/restaurant. This kept my days/nights flexible for the beach and night life. Eventually I moved into a career in marketing then a career in web development. Now I do both (or should I say all three? 😉) I have lived in a handful of cities and have experienced life in ways I never could have had I never left home to explore. That was what was right for me at the time. I wouldn’t say that I have it all figured out but as the saying goes, I have miles [many, many miles] to go before I sleep.
