It took me a long time to finally sit down and write this passage of 40-something birthday 7. It has been a lot to process.
47 has always been my “scary” age. As I kid I could never imagine myself as an adult in my 40’s. To steal a line from our generation’s favorite trilogy, it seemed like something that would only happen a long time from then in a galaxy far, far away.
It was a joke to me. Ever since 25, the designated age where people were supposed to stop asking my age and I was supposed to stop telling them, when inevitably asked I would respond with 47. The person asking would react in disbelief. I would always joke that I had an ex-husband who was a plastic surgeon. For literally 22 years I have used that line. Now the unbelievable is happening. I am actually turning 47…and there is NO plastic surgeon ex-husband.
Scary Birthday to You
So what happens now? A look back on my life? An account of where I have been, what I have done? A judgement of whether or not I measure up to whatever expectations I might have had at this point? Do I give thanks for, at the very least, not being dead?
On the one hand, who doesn’t set expectations? Who isn’t guilty of the modern-day self-flagellation of comparing ourselves to others on LinkedIn or Facebook. We all know we only post our “best lives” on social networking. Still, every once in awhile we all find ourselves comparing ourselves to our peers. I prepared for turning 40 by telling myself that if all my ducks were in a row I’d be ok. My mother has always said that she never cared what age she was as long as she was doing the things wanted to do. There’s some truth in that I suppose. If my career was where I wanted it to be, if my relationships were going well, if I had hit enough milestones or bucket list items maybe I would be ok. Now upon turning 47, am I there?
On the other hand, once I got over the initial sting of turning the big 4-0 I found I was ok. For the most part I began to find the signs of age amusing. No, you are not the youngest or hottest (or whatever-est) woman in the room anymore. That’s ok. Been there, done that. I don’t want to be 20. I don’t want to dance until 4am anymore (though if I could bottle that energy I would pour some in my coffee every morning!) Going to bed at the time that I used to begin my night does not leave me with FOMO. Don’t get me wrong I had a blast during my time but now, shocker of shocks to those who may remember me from then, I am more than happy to pass that baton on to the younger generations.
Fear Not…
In the end, I processed turning 40-something for the 7th time and found these recurring thoughts about my 40’s…
- It’s great to be midlife as Gen X because we truly are redefining what it means to be middle age.
- Youth has been replaced by wisdom and confidence. Not just any wisdom and confidence but the kind you can only get by being on the planet for this long. No amount of reading Wikipedia can give you that. There is also quite a bit of confidence that comes with that knowledge.
- I fully support career and/or lifestyle changes at midlife, in fact I did it myself.
- While it sometimes stings, I am mostly finding amusement in all of the nuances that come with being in my 40s.
- I care less about what other people think as the decades go on. Self-acceptance is actually becoming a thing.
- I have even less patience for stupidity than I did when I was younger and I am even more likely to speak up about it.
- I miss my flat stomach and 20/30-something body but evidently other priorities (carbs, wine, Netflix…) are ranking higher these days than time spent at the gym.
- I’m obsessed with Instagram and #fortiesAndFabulous influencers sharing thoughts on everything from makeup to menopause.
- I have been nostalgic since the day I was born. Get me started and I love telling stories from my past. Especially my days and nights in Hollywood. I hope to write more about that as time goes on.
- I strongly believe that since we are living so much longer than prior generations and will have better physical and mental capacity (aka aging slower), we should be in no hurry to reach the milestones that were set prior to our time.
